Living In A Beautiful State
How to Overcome Your Suffering
We so often get down on ourselves and stuck in a rut that leaves us uninspired and feeling flat. Our goals suffer, our work suffers, and our most important relationships suffer.
And it has become all the more prevalent to get down in the dumps in the last couple of years. When we’re anxious or depressed we can’t perform our best in any and all aspects of our lives.
But living in a beautiful state is possible and when you hold yourself to the standard of this empowering, positive state, you can end your suffering.
And most of what we experience in the form of ruminating thoughts is suffering, make no mistake about it.
Thoughts about feeling lonely, or not having enough money, or whether we should have ordered the steak instead of the chicken.
This state of suffering is rooted in fear. And in particular there are three categories of fears that cause us to suffer:
Less
Loss
Never
The fear of less is driven by the insatiable comparison we all find ourselves fueled by and is particularly prevalent and captivated with social media.
Loss is always hard to deal with and can pervade our every thought. Loss of freedom, loss of jobs, and loss of loved ones seem to surround us more and more.
And the fear of never holds us back from our full potential. When we’re stuck thinking about our inadequacies we can’t fulfill what we’re truly capable of.
Never keeps us held in a fixed mindset instead of opening up the possibilities for growth.
But all hope is not lost. We can turn things around and rise up above our suffering by deciding and committing to living in positive state.
To counteract the state of suffering we must do three things on a regular basis:
Appreciate and Enjoy
Learn and Grow
Love, Give, and Be Grateful
First, Appreciating and enjoying really comes down to the present moment and how we are able to maintain our focus on it.
Second, Learning and growth not only end suffering but they also help to bring more flow and fulfillment to our days.
Because growth is at the core of accessing the flow state, constant improvement and progress is always a worthy pursuit.
And third, love, give, and be grateful. Love and generosity will bring more to your life. Contribution to something larger than yourself will bring you a sense of higher purpose.
Now, I want to share with you an incredibly effective practice that you can use at any time to end your suffering and bring yourself back into a beautiful state.
It’s called Ho’o’pono’pono and you can use it to deal with frustrations and suffering from your day-to-day or present moment and it can also be used to practice forgiveness, which is even more potent than just practicing gratitude.
It’s important to recognize that you will fall back into a state of suffering again but here’s something that’s key. Now that you know to anticipate suffering, you can notice and name that state much quicker and take action to counteract it.
The practice of Ho’o’pono’pono works anytime and anywhere but if you make it into a ritual for yourself and take it seriously, you’ll get more out of it.
You’ll want to get into a quiet and comfortable position before starting.
Bring to mind a situation from your past that weighs heavily on you. I’m talking a 9/10 on the emotionally upsetting scale. It’s ok if you’re not ready to get into it. This practice builds like a muscle and you can start out with less resistance.
Spend a minute thinking about and feeling this situation from your past. You may start to notice your heart rate increase or skin flushing if you’re bringing to mind an intense situation.
Now, while still thinking about the situation,. place your hands on your heart and start to repeat the four phrases of Ho’o’pono’pono either out loud or in your head if you feel more comfortable that way
The four phases are:
Thank you
I love you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
You can even simplify it to just repeating, “thank you, I love you”
Repeat this over and over again for a few minutes and notice what it does to the emotional intensity of what you were upset about.
A few important notes here:
This practice works because our brains our wired for love and connection. The more that you embrace it and let go of judgement, the more effective this will be at shifting you to a positive state and ending your suffering.
Thinking the statements instead of saying them works just as well if talking to yourself feels awkward.
Even if it’s another person you are wanting to beg for forgiveness, it takes two to tango and your asking for forgiveness will help you to be more at ease.
So now it’s your turn to give it a try for yourself. What’s causing your suffering that you need to work on? Drop a comment about what you’re struggling with.
Find Your Flow.